Thoughts: on this blog

“maybe falling completely in love with yourself is the secret to happiness”

Hot take: a lot of what we do as humans is so that we can feel like or convince ourselves and others that we matter. We tell people we’re named after celebrities or saints, we read classic literature to feel connected and important, we make art, we go to school, we travel. Of course I’m not immune to that, as even this blog is my scream into the abyss that I am an important human.

And maybe that’s just a part of the human experience! Like maybe there’s something to the idea that we do things because we recognize that we’re only here for a short time and we want our stay to be meaningful and beautiful! Maybe that’s poetic!

What I’ve been trying to do in my daily life (especially post-the-beginning-of-Cheeky Femme) is try to recognize that the only person whom I should worry about is me. Yes, it’s a super-cheesy-high-school-assembly line, but maybe falling completely in love with yourself is the secret to happiness. It can’t hurt to try!

So I’ve been trying to be more honest and open with myself. I’ve stopped trying to drown out my thoughts when I’m alone. I tweet things that I think are funny and important and I post pictures on Instagram that I think I look cute in. I’ve tried to stop being so hard on myself. It’s so refreshing to think that the only person you have to please is yourself, especially if you can convince yourself that you love yourself, because you’re so easy to please! (Confusing? Only in sentence form. Abridged version: if you love yourself and live an authentic life you’ll love everything about yourself! It’s like if you were totally in love with someone else except it’s better because it’s you.)

So step one on how to fall in love with your self: do something special for yourself. Go walk in a park or out to dinner or paint something, alone. Don’t cheat by listening to loud music or checking social media the whole time. Learn how to live in your own headspace. Be comfortable by yourself.

Peace and love y’all. Good luck.

Spaces: Lexington Pride Festival 2017

“the queer community made a powerful statement about the overwhelming love we have”

When I traveled to Kentucky with my boss, I wasn’t sure that the south would be the most accepting place. I am happy to say that, as far as Lexington is concerned, I was very wrong. We had the booth set up for about twelve hours that day so I was on my feet for about ten and it happened to be our busiest day ever so I was able to interact with a lot of people.

At Lexington’s Pride Festival, I was able to witness something I had never seen before in real life: Christian extremists protesting. They had the classic “HOMO SEX IS SIN” sign, some other ones about how we were all going to hell, and even an anti-Islam sign (for good measure I guess? I don’t know how they think. It was not super pertinent to the day’s events other than they fact that they had intersectional hatred.) They gathered around the entrance and for at least seven hours in the blazing heat held these signs and said horrible, hateful things at the crowd through bullhorns.

What I also witnessed that day for the first time was how much love the LGBTQ+ community has. Our table was fairly near to these protestors so we overheard them all day. I was not super bothered by it after awhile (apparently after being told you’re going to hell repeatedly eventually the edge wears off) but some people, especially young kids, were. Throughout the day, people stood in front of the protestors and made noise to drown them out. From students for the rights of trans students with pride flag capes and signs of their own, drag queens, a big gay marching band, and large groups with noisemakers, there was constantly a group who refused to let the message of hate from the protestors be heard. It was comforting to know that we (specifically here I mean queer youth and others who were bothered by it) were so loved by this community that people would sacrifice their time and energy to make us feel safe. It was powerful stuff.

I know this might not be the best way to try to get protestors to leave, but it wasn’t necessarily about that. We knew they wouldn’t leave. Instead, the community took it upon themselves to make sure that everyone who was there knew that we had each other’s backs. It was beautiful. To be around such a tangible symbol of how much love we have and how dead-set we are on combating hate was amazing. While I wish there had not been protestors, I am glad that the day progressed the way it did. At LexPride, the queer community made a powerful statement about the overwhelming love we have and how we believe that can and should be first and foremost in combating this type of hatred. Not necessarily fighting back or retaliation, but love and support for the rest of us.

Stay proud.